Monday, May 21, 2007

Legal at Last!!

No more worrying about the cop who has been following for the past 10 miles. No more dreams of being arrested and thrown into a rat infested dungeon like prison. Where I will be fed a gruel that looks like they scraped it off the bathroom floor of a bar that was serving 25 cent shots all night! Where I will be forced to work on a chain gang..... What the hell are you talking about? About being legal. About being an upstanding citizen. About doing what is expected of me as a member of this society. About being a true RED, WHITE & BLUE AMERICAN!! Alright, well I have been with you since your last post and I still don't know what you are talking about. You want to try explaining it again? I am talking about getting my motorcycle license! I finally got it this past weekend! AND?? You have been riding for at least the past 3 YEARS without one. Never got a ticket, never been stopped. And in all honesty, you are more law abiding on a motorcycle than you are in your truck. But I was ILLEGAL!! I was breaking the law every time I rode out of the driveway. I was a criminal. You are a nutcase! You were taught to ride by your friends, you took the written test for the state, you had your permit. The only thing you lacked was the driving test or taking the class. But I didn't have my license!! FINE!! Shame on you!! Why do you always blow things so far out of proportion? Like that shit about prison. No man, that's real!! You do bad things, you go to prison. And if you ever get sent there its like Hell on Earth. And when you get out, you will make sure you never, ever do anything that might get you sent back! Have you taken your meds today? Should I call your doctor? NO, no, I'll be OK. Just give me a minute. Alright, just sit back and relax. I think I understand what is upsetting you. You have and outdated view of prison. It hasn't been like that in many, many years. Maybe even centuries. Prisons in the here and now aren't the bad places you imagine They are still bad thou, think of them as walled inner cities you can't leave. And don't think of them as a place of torture, they are places of reform. Ya see, prison is a place that will take care of you. You get 3 meals a day planned out by a nutritionist, you can go to school, up through college. You have health care and you can even hire lawyers. You can even get cable TV. You see, prisons today aren't a deterrent against bad behavior, they are places of reform. If you do something bad and get sent there, they want to make you a better person. They will train you and educate you so that when you get out, you will be a productive member of society. Of course, once your out, you will more than likely return to the environment that got you sent to prison in the first place so all that reform is just a waste of time. But if you go to prison and have no interest in being reformed, you can still get educated. The prisons are full of people who will tell you where you made your mistakes, what you should have done not to get caught or if you did get caught, how you could have beaten the charge. You may even pick up on some new ideas you never thought of before. And while you are there, you can work to reform the prison!! Like the prisoners who thought that the black and white striped prisoner uniforms were degrading, sued the prison and got new uniforms. Or the prisoner who had peanut butter for breakfast when he was on the outside, sued the prison, now he has peanut butter for breakfast. Don't you remember, back in the mid-90's, we were driving to our second job and the news was on. The reporter was talking about state prisons, and how much it cost to keep one prisoner in the system for 1 year. And with a little quick math, you were shocked to find out that it cost more to keep 1 prisoner in prison than we made working 2 jobs. Oh wow, I forgot about that. Well that is why I am here. Well the way you describe it, prison really isn't 'that' scary. Just doesn't seem right tho. Its not. Just be the good person you are and put this silly fear behind you. I will try. See you later? Of course you will.